Time Period: an hour after Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

In the Kerjen universe: after Praise

"Beginning makes the conditions perfect." - Alan Cohen

Amanda had waited and waited more as she stared off in the direction of Mount Seleya. She had collapsed when Starfleet came to say Spock was killed in the line of duty. Because of that, they had said she was better waiting at the house rather than stand through the night at the fal-tor-pan. As if she would sleep, but she agreed to do the horrible thing: remain behind.

She had watched the exodus of everyone except for the few Vulcans who agreed to stay with her. Even they gathered every ounce of their considerable katras and poured it into the air like everyone, adults and children, who lined the streets from the Klingon ship up the mountain for T'Lar to funnel through herself and into saving Amanda's son.

To make him reborn.

Now she waited, trembling with knowing Spock was alive –


She squinted into the dawn. "Here," she spoke over her shoulder and one of Sarek's aides stepped forward. A few more came out of the office, ready. Then, there they were. Kirk, McCoy, Scott, all of them, slowly getting out of the cavalcade of private cars Sarek had arranged for them. Exhaustion gauged each face and a few stumbled with it.

Amanda hurried to put an arm around Jim and Leonard. "Thank you is not enough. Nothing can be. If there is something, you must tell me."

"Well," McCoy drawled, "this would be number one on my list, so you got it without even asking."

She ushered them in where food, drink, warm water showers, clean clothes, and fresh linens on the beds waited for them. She explained where they each would be staying when she saw the person a step or two behind the group, the space making her stand out.

Vulcan, Starfleet uniform, in the party that saved Spock, eyes darting everywhere like it was all new. Amanda's mouth parted as she drank in the other.


All these years hearing about her, asking so many questions, burning with curiosity, and yet denied ever seeing her. Amanda wasn't quite sure why. Of all the Romulan colony survivors she met, this was the one she had so wanted to know.

She should have guessed the woman would be involved in helping save Spock.

Saavik saw Amanda and stopped in front of her. One pair of eyes searched the other.

A simple regal lift to Amanda's head and her expression one of quiet delight said all the other layers. "I'm so pleased we're meeting at last. I've been hoping we would."

Jim and Leonard, ever in their roles as leader of the flock and its emotional leader, both turned around. "Oh, yeah," McCoy muttered. "Ah—allow me." He stumbled back, Kirk instantly at his elbow. "This feels momentous. Uh, Lieutenant Saavik, Lady Amanda."

"Hello, my dear," she said gently. "And it's simply Amanda."

Saavik's brows went up on the endearment, but that intense gaze bored into the older woman. "It is equally Saavik."

She had guests, so Amanda swept her hand in a graceful gesture inside. "Be welcome to our house."

Saavik's eyes looked between hers and then she nodded, still meeting the blue gaze as she passed until she met up with the doctor and captain.

Amanda settled her guests who took things in different orders: some wanted to sit with a drink or have it with food; some showered and put on new clothes, and some went right to sleep.

The house grew quiet quickly and stayed that way even when checking on everyone brought Amanda across that solitary form again. She knew Saavik had never been on Vulcan before, so she gave a gentle nod for the younger woman to follow. She led the way through the garden where Saavik looked everywhere. She timed it so that dark head faced back the way they came and called for the lights and the fountain to go off.

Now she caught those deep eyes and led them forward. Saavik's whole bearing lifted as her mouth parted. She took a step.

The desert.

Part of a Vulcan's soul. For so many of them, no matter where they came from or how far they went, its winds sang to them and its life was theirs. The rising sun painted with light and mixed with the last hues of the night before Saavik's eyes.

Amanda had been right; the younger woman had been consumed earlier with the fal-tor-pan and hadn't looked around.


She ran into Sarek's arms and held tight, his not letting anything bad penetrate to her. She spoke against his chest. "When will I see Spock?"

"Immediately, if you are able. Be honest, my wife, because I nearly lost you both." His arms tightened. "Do you need rest first?"

"I used what the adepts taught me during the night. My only problem will be waiting any longer." She leaned back. "Quickly though, what about Jim and the others?"

"The Federation searches for them and will soon deduce they are here. However-" He stopped her interruption. "We will provide sanctuary and I will put forth their case. We are not alone. T'Pau and the Council have made Vulcan their defender. Our colonies are informed and already pledge their support if it becomes safer to move Kirk and his crew further out of reach."

She tightened her hands in his robe. "Will that be necessary?"

He laid a hand on hers. "The odds are against it. We merely wish to be prepared."

She loosened her grip. "Tell me all the details later. I can only think about our son now. Sarek… will he know me?"

He took her hands. "He may not at first, but with a reminder and a moment to think, he will. You are his mother and you always are important to him. He may not recall everything, it will take time and work, but allow him to remember what he can."

"I can't stand here and only talk about it any longer. Let's go, Sarek."

He stepped out of her path and caught sight of Saavik. He watched that face watching the desert. "Yes, of course." Whatever else he meant to say, he left it unsaid.

"She's been keeping herself apart." Because Spock would be the one person she would share with and he wasn't here. She was alone.

Amanda studied the dawn as it showed in that awestruck expression and smiled.

Not anymore

Note: Amanda is referring to a scene where all the Vulcans line the streets and up Seleya's 1000 steps to help Spock and, like you see Saavik doing, they lend their mental energy to his refusion. The scene was filmed, but unfortunately cut.