- Very exciting. I like the little vignettes of the people she deals with, and knowing where you're going with it, this is a great build up of action.
I really like this part...
"Have you have ever heard the expression: I see two people in you... the one you are now, and the one you could become? Well, I some times imagine I see the shadow of a third person when it comes to you. Someone you used to be and needed to leave behind. I think that person lended some of her experience today."
Saavik kept her gaze above the captain's head, but was still aware of how those eyes darted back and forth between Saavik's own for that quiet second.
"I have no problem with that experience creeping in, whatever it is," Hunter continued, "because I know you'd never let that out if it was wrong or harmful. Frankly, there isn't one of those people in you whose judgment I don't trust. "....
I think I like it because of Hunter, whose character I think is great. I like that she sees all of Saavik and not just what Saavik thinks she projects.
Otherwise, I liked the whole fic as I said before you finished it. I think it turned out with a good ending.
I liked the idea of "hot bunking". I was reading the Starfleet Technical Manual while researching something else, and there is a whole section of guest quarters on Constitution class vessels that are designed to hold several hundred people, but that can be converted into sickbay space too in the event of something big like an evacuation.
With the Aerfen not even being Constitution class. This is a tight squeeze.
I've always liked that scene in TUC where they are announcing that Burke and Samno will be questioned and they flash to showing all the lower deck crew in the bunks in their jammies waking up to listen.
- I love this story.
I like the tension during all the story that doesn't let you breathe and shows very well what the people from the cruise and the Starfleet personnel rescuing them are feeling.
The first scene with the people grabbing Saavik and unwittingly assaulting her with their strong hostile thoughts is impressive.
The end is as good as the beginning. Even as things are getting better for the people in general, Saavik is still in trouble and there is certain tension you can't get rid of; but then, Saavik's firm belief in her duty gives us all strength, or at least to me.
I must confess I thought you were going until the end, when everything was clarified and Saavik was clean. And for a single moment I was disappointed that was the end. Ok, it's true, I always want more, that's no surprise.
But then I realized that was exactly the moment to finish the story, because you are left with Saavik still thinking things are going to get really ugly for her, and still believing in doing her duty no matter what. The story is stronger this way, the message reaches you more clearly.
You wonder, but what's going to happen? Is she really going to be punished for doing right? That's horrible.
And if you want to know, as you told me before, you only have to reflect a bit (that's what stories are for: entertainment and reflection) and realize there are a lot of stories from you were Saavik is still in Starfleet and becoming a higher ranking officer, so everything goes well at the end.
So, actually, I love that ending.
- Absolutely fantastic in a very sad, powerful, gripping way. This is exactly like evac situations I've read about, and unfortunately like too many times when the people who are rescued sue the heroes who rescued them.
I would have shoved half those people out an airlock. :P I'm so worked up over these people, it'll take me 2 days to calm down!
I loved Saavik in this, her captain who must at the same time fight for her and dig at the truth, and the nurse; you always make such interesting characters! Even small ones click right away with the reader!
It ended just right, with Saavik showing she is a true hero who does what's right AND stick to her principles even when the usual ST heroes parade isn't waiting for her.
I also love all the pieces from the other stories I can find in this, so the past and future are all tied together along with pieces of culture from all these people naturally folded in.
- Damn, what a start. The whole thing... I'm breathless
Good thought, the harassment that is. I was so upset for Saavik, and the way her heart is breaking with these threats to destroy what's so important to her. Dumb, stupid ignorant fools
And I love the scene with the big alien and the old woman! Its like the big guy is a sort of metaphor for the rescue effort and she's the symbol of all the others........
And what a team this crew is! I loved when Hunter talks about seeing three people in Saavik and how she trusts all of them. Awesome. It reminds me a bit of my job. You can have hell going on around you, but if you have good leader, then you know that you are going to make it through.
Wonderful story. I loved it!
- Wow. This is intense. Poor Saavik; she's under fire. Every single thing she did is being questioned; it's so unfair. And such a "wonderful" human trait. Sadly. Next time, let the pirates have them. :D
I loved your use of metaphors and comparisons, and how the different characters each had their own speech pattern. It made them unique and very real.
And Saavik rocks! Even these people are hurting her, she still tries to protect them; even the ones who first assault her, she holds in her strength and her preservation instinct to save them.
But I'm telling these people it's not Saavik's fault, it's YOURS, Kerry! You put her through so much pain! You violated one of our rules: Thou Shalt Not Harm Saavik!
Through the whole thing, I waited for one bombshell after another, and each time one was over, you upped the pace again. Good job.
I'm also enjoyed the humor snippets, like "periscope aimed backwards", and how you put them in right so they didn't take away from the tension.
But I really wanted Saavik to hit that father! :D
I'm so glad though that you showed this time period before your Cain story, where Saavik is dealing with Spock supposedly ending their relationship.
In summary: I loved this story. I'm not liking you so much. ;)
- Very well done! I could feel the panic of the passengers and understand the frustration of the crew who tried their best to get everyone out safely. I wanted to scream in exasperation when those
same passengers who were rescued decided to make a scapegoat of Saavik for her supposed refusal to help. Absolutely the sign of a great story when I'm yelling 'No, you fools!' at the screen. :D