- Sweet, little girl, Saavik's background. Like the idea and the story. Keep up the good work!!!!!
- This was truly beautiful. Painful. Connected perfectly
from child to Saavik, from adult Saavik to the child Saavik,
from Spock to Saavik and Saavik to Leena. Perfect. With
all the past anger and hatred and fear to the present--and
showing what is still to come. A cycle. Spock broke the
first with Saavik. Now she is trying to break it again
with this child. With her fellow officers. With herself.
It is the simple images that hit the hardest in this story:
The child trying to not see the blood, Saavik's careful
quiet offer of comfort in opening her jacket, Saavik's
struggle against the past this present stirs again, the
officer's smell like Daddy, her fierce hold to the promise,
Saavik watching her, and the tears that can only come
when it is safe at last to cry.
You caught the child's trauma, her thought patterns.
Her similiarity to Saavik. Her faith that Saavik would
make the fighting stop. Would keep the Romulans away
forever. Would find the others. That she was strong
enough to do it. That it would then be okay again. The
parallels between this child and Saavik are painful,
You've caught everything--ugly and beautiful in the
soul. And it hurts even as it gives Saavik's same promise.
I loved it.
- Ooo, this is a clever little story. You managed to describe
the setting accurately and your well flowing sentences
were short eloquence.
Congratulations on this piece!
- I liked everything. VH points out how this tramtically
affected her. The look on the child's face as she glances
back at Saavik chasing her or some gut-wrenching memory
of knowing how the kid feels or perhaps just her motivation
for why she refuses to let this little girl get away...
she was that little girl and Spock wouldn't leave without
her. How was Saavik affected by this scene?!
I really like the child's reaction... "I promise
I like that the child wants Saavik to stay and find
The scenery and chase were well described. I could
picture the ruined building and crumbling stair.
This was a good one, Kerry.
- Why, you clever little minx.....
I fell for it! I really did.
- This is a great short story. Like most people, I thought
you were writing about young Saavik on Hellguard. It was
a good story about the aftermath of the Tomed Incident. I liked Leena's thought
bubbles. And the taking about food is a good way to try
and reach out to a starving child.
- Greatly written - I loved it! Especially that for half
the story one thinks this is young Saavik, and then it
all turns up differently :)
- This is outstanding. At first I thought it was a kind
of flashback scene from Saavik's early years and was wondering
where it would go. When Saavik caught the child it was
then that I realized why you probably wrote this. To show
how Saavik's early experiences make her an excellent person
to assist someone in a similar situation. She'll be able
to find and catch the survivors because she thinks like
them. And can communicate with them (verbally and silently) because
she knows where they've been. And we wonder what she's
thinking and feeling..
We get sucked into the emotions of this story right from the start. Since I thought it was
Saavik being described I added the years of emotions and experiences of Saavik as we've come to
know her onto this character as I read about her. When it was revealed that it was a different
child, then I felt for Saavik (wondering what she had to be feeling seeing this child run in
terror from her). I felt for the child too, not just because of what horrors she had experienced
up to this point, but because I wonder what kind of life she will have as a survivor. What
similarities will she have with Saavik (obvious dissimilarities would be the possible existence
of her mother, siblings, and the fact that she's not a Romulan/Vulcan hybrid)? What will
Saavik's sleep be like the next night? The child's? It makes you wonder about a lot.
I liked this. It made me think and it made me feel.
- WOW!! Have you ever considered writing books about Trek?? This is BEAUTIFUL!! I love how you capture the little girl's emotions and how Saavik appears to her. Keep writing!